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littlemiss
Junior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 16

0 posted 2006-07-02 02:05 PM

In my heart there is a beat,
A beat that's just for you.
It pounds so hard against my chest,
I know this beat is true.

It beats around my body,
From my heart and through my lungs,
It travels so fast i can barely breathe.
Though i know this beat is young.

I try not to get carried away,
Carried with it's tide.
It's too late I'm smoothered by your wave,
There's nowhere I can hide.

I hope this beat lasts forever,
Although forever is a long time.
I hope this beat stays strong,
And I pray it's always mine.

WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

1 posted 2006-07-02 04:20 PM

WOW!!! I really liked this! I love the flow and the idea and the rhyme schemes...fantastic job!

When I stopped trying to find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-07-06 11:29 PM

Great rhyme.. I love how you used the beat and the wave constantly in this.. that was good.. this was creative in it's own way.. I love the last line the most.. It shows a being of hopefulness..very inspiring... great job..
hope to read more..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-07-09 01:46 AM

Hey littlemiss,

Great poem! And I mean that... I also loved how you used the "beat" and the "tide/wave" to describe this poem. Cause, mostly people just talk about "oooh, how much i love him, it makes me feel good, yada, yada, yada" and I'm not saying that is bad just that You didn't, which makes this even more unique to me...

It was such a pleasure to read this poem, it was something fresh to see. I really enjoyed it! The second stanza is my favorite, i think. It's so hard to choose because each one is good...

Thanks for sharing this one, i'd love to see more from you in the near future

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