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Teen Poetry #7
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tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2005-08-07 11:38 PM



I long for the day that i"ll be something more
more than just a girl in this world.
I long for the day I know that to you,
there's no one in the world that means more than I do.

I know there's a way through this endless night,
my tears and my heart have put up the fight.
Show me the way, I'm stranded in the pain,
I wanted to bathe in sunshine, but I'm drowning in the rain.

You've left me stranded, stranded, among the lost dreams,
My lips don't part, but my heart, hear it scream.
Life has demanded, demanded, that I be something I'm not,
This isn't the life I've sought.
I need you to rescue me.
Please...don't leave. Rescue me.

I'm not helpless, I'm just lost and confused,
my heart and my mind have been so abused.
Don't see me as some hopeless lost case,
I've already lost so much, I've lost every race.

My world is falling in pieces from the sky,
and I sit here and I wonder why,
I ever fell for this guy, who could have cared less.
Why I care for the people who made me such a mess.

You've left me stranded, stranded, among the lost dreams,
My lips don't part, but my heart, hear it scream.
Life has demanded, demanded, that I be something I'm not,
This isn't the life I've sought.
I need you to rescue me.
Please...don't leave. Rescue me.

-Erin

I wrote this the other night...right now's just a hard time for me. I know theres no set rhyme scheme but this is how it came out, i'm not going to change it to fit a perfect scheme cause i kinda like it imperfect. Ideas? Comments?

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

© Copyright 2005 Erin - All Rights Reserved
skoolyardturtle
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96

1 posted 2005-08-10 12:57 PM


this write is fine, so are poems written in uneven pentameters, free writes are my favorite kind of peoms anyway.  Just be patient, just a little while longer, and good things will come. Rarely does anyone find the perfect person they are looking for. Just take it one day at a time.  I look forward to reading more.
Kaos
Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317
between space and time
2 posted 2005-08-13 07:12 PM


i agree, free writes are always unique. It was a very good piece, just remember there's a brighter side to everything, the light might just need some batteries :-)

" Breathe life, for you are not alone"
- Killswitch Engage

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