Copper Lincolns Never Grace My Tips

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Teen Poetry #7

Copper Lincolns Never Grace My Tips

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2005-08-01 10:39 AM

Copper Lincolns Never Grace My Tips

I nibble at my finger as it bleeds;
such a delicious condiment.
Rows of business men pass by my
outstretched palm, hungry for a wallet,
though a quarter would do well enough.
Their day planners do not have mercy scheduled
in for today, damn their secretaries.
My clothes flutter in the wind
looking like a sail that has seen the most violent storms.
Since my clothing has such violence gathering
in its sleeves, my countenance is much subdued.
I cannot stand this district anymore,
maybe its time to turn out the lights.

[This message has been edited by young_blood (08-01-2005 11:16 AM).]

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2005-08-23 12:52 PM

will no onw reply?

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

2 posted 2005-08-28 11:58 PM

I don't usually read this forum, but this one caught my eye, just passing by. I feel for this poem, its really a great write, I stumbled through it because im emotional. Good Write.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2005-08-30 04:46 PM

thank you so much. it is good to have someone finally comment on it.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2005-08-30 10:15 PM

mmm. creates a very good visual.

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

5 posted 2005-09-01 10:14 AM

i got a good visual from this. short and sweet, i enjoyed this one as well

"Aerials, in the sky,
When you lose small mind,
You free your life."
- System of a Down

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2005-09-01 06:00 PM

thanks all

StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

7 posted 2005-09-15 11:21 PM

ok so right now i'm reading this book about 9/11, so maybe i just have that on my mind, but this really seemed to fit with that. sorry if that was totally not your intention. anyway, i really like the visual of blood as a condiment, even if it disturbed me just a little.

and i pretty much love all your work... that's all i can say

"and i'll sit and wonder of every love that could have been
if i'd only thought of something charming to say..." -death cab

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

8 posted 2005-09-15 11:25 PM

thanks. i appreciate it.

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