Teen Poetry #7 |
Ambition In A Brick Wall |
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
Ambition in a brick wall Hades burns near the bottom of emptiness, a stranger on the inside of your jovial smile. The tongues of flame feel so enticing even as the noise drives spikes of guilt into that cheap, white conscience. As the heat burns inward, your confident walls melt with pungeant smoke and useless ash. Stopping those thoughts is like sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun. So, how's it going to be (with your finger on the trigger shaking like its never bedded fear before) I like to place bets on how long you can act sane (for money is never lost on oneself) but you are doing better than expected. This war only ends in your demise, so please struggle a little less. Even your appearance in the mirror has changed, maybe hell will never freeze over in that heart of yours. (The mirror shows one person, but many views for the many days we have. These are the double minds of us all.) |
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© Copyright 2005 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Have you seen the movie "Hide and Seek?" That's all I'll say, for fear of spoiling it. Interesting write. Very insightful. Well written. Thanks for sharing. Alicia |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
ya, i've seen it. this isn't so much about schizophrenia as it is self doubt and the other side of ourselves. |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Yeah, but in facing two sides of oneself, it is much the same. |
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BabyGirl323 Junior Member
since 2005-07-15
Posts 11 |
this tighht. i like this. good work homie!! |
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* shining star* Member
since 2005-06-29
Posts 76PA,USA |
awsome write -Smile, it's not a sin. |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I'm surprised to see lines like this in your writing: maybe hell will never freeze over in that heart of yours. just because its a bit cliche. You have a creative idea portrayed in sort of a bland way. That's just my opinion though man. |
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skoolyardturtle Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96 |
i like it. dark and meaningful |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thanks lexy. my writing has been non-existant and bland when it does come out. thanks for the feedback |
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