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Teen Poetry #7
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PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2005-04-09 04:53 AM



You've cried alone so long,
Without a love to call your own
You whisper in the dark,
To unknown entity
Suddenly she's appeared,
The angel in your dreams
Immediately you think,
"She's come to rescue me"
------------
It is super short, i know, i just have no clue how to finish it! hehe.

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

© Copyright 2005 Serena Marie Corbella - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2005-04-09 01:51 PM


Well short or not, it sure sends a message of hope and I sure liked it!     I think it IS finished myself.
Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
2 posted 2005-04-09 02:35 PM


Thanks for your comment on my poem!! If you want a guy friend like that you can reach me on instant messenger screen name is chrissccr18 or if u want to email me chrissccr18@netscape.net. As for your poem goes I loved it because it represents a situation I'm currently in. Great imagery and poems like this all give us a glimmer of hope that there is someone out there for everyone. Good write,look forward to hearing from you!!
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
3 posted 2005-04-11 05:07 PM


hmm i really liked the length of this, but the ending is iffy. i like it, but it feels like you could at least add another stanza.  otherwise this had really cool imagery and i liked it. thanks for sharing

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

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