New Wishes for New Beginnings

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Teen Poetry #7

New Wishes for New Beginnings

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2005-03-28 10:26 PM

Hour after hour,
Day after day,
Month after month,
and year after year;
I prayed the same prayer.

I asked you to help me escape.
to pull me out of this quick sand filled world.
This world that is pulling in all directions except towards you.

I begged you to send me a guy who loves me for who I am and loves you as I do.

I proposed to you the thought of new friendships and new beginnings.

Now I have a new wish.

Tell me which prayer you have answered and inform me which ones have not yet been fulfilled.

-hold on to the one you love

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

1 posted 2005-04-07 08:18 PM

Hour after hour,
Day after day,
Month after month,
and year after year;
I prayed the same prayer.

THis was...idk alittle continuous, had you cut it down to

Month after month,
and year after year;
I prayed the same prayer.

rather than continuing it. I'm not sure, I just wasn't crazy about that part.

I asked you to help me escape.
to pull me out of this quick sand filled world.
This world that is pulling in all directions except towards you.

This however, was my favorite part. That for me is what I loved about this poem. The rest of it was ok but this part made it really good!

Just a few thoughts. This was, all in all a good poem, though. Good Job!

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

SEA