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Teen Poetry #7

Needles in the hay

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2005-03-15 07:43 PM

We fall asleep with the color of the sunrise
We count the years on circles under our eyes
We put one foot in front of the other
We dream in shades of blue and grey...
We speak in tongues of metaphors and stories
We bleed the ink of subtle allegory
We are the needles in the hay...

-hold on to the one you love

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2005-03-16 08:26 AM

oh. I love the flow this has.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

2 posted 2005-03-16 03:13 PM

This paints something in a very simple way. Awesome, awesome job.

Keep writing.
-Kelly

LadyDracaWolf
Member

since 2002-09-19

Posts 73
CA

3 posted 2005-03-16 03:15 PM

Very excellent picture painted in my head. Fluidly done.

Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is putting out the lamp
because the dawn has come.

Rabindranath Tagore
Poet, Philosopher

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

4 posted 2005-03-16 11:37 PM

thank you for your comments!
Laura

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

5 posted 2005-03-23 04:17 AM

ooh i was randomly looking for stuff to reply to at 3:11 in the morning (Shoosh, i'm hyper i can't sleep) and i came across this thinking meh, might as well read it..and i'm damn glad i did. this is really strange and short, but it has a creative yet familiar feel. i really like it, it's cool as hell...that's about all i can say without rambling like a tired fool. thank you for sharing =) keep writing!

-bergundy-

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

6 posted 2005-03-24 06:54 PM

bergundy thanks for your comment... get some sleep!!!
laura

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