Teen Poetry #7 |
Welcome to Wonderland, I've been expecting you... |
Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
Follow the rabbit down the hole, Then disbelieve all that you know, Everything you thought was real, Twists to mirror what you feel, Welcome to where dreams come true, And nightmares if you let them too, Now come and take the Hatter's hand, We welcome you to Wonderland, Feel free to run or take your time, For in the end you shall be mine, Come and let the game begin, But in the end the Hatter wins, I pull the strings... I deal the cards... I rule above the Queen of Hearts. All is mine, As you shall see, Because I'll never let you leave, Even if you get away, I'll bring you back to me someday, You'll never leave me in the past, I'm just beyond the looking glass... Rebel of the sacred heart |
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© Copyright 2005 Bryan Nascak - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
the flow here is great...I really liked this |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
Ahhh....me likes...would make a right nifty song....just make sure the bass line rips and the sound is heavy.....peace No one really cares,,why should I? |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great writing, I really enjoyed the read Andrew |
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moonguardian2004 Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64MA, USA |
I loved this write, especially the second stanza. It was fun to read. Great job! ~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~ |
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Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
Thanks all for your positive feedback. This is one of my few pieces that I like. In fact, I think I'll turn it into a song, as suggested ^_^ Rebel of the sacred heart |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
This was really fun to read. Reminds me of a fairy-tale. |
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Jezzika Member
since 2005-01-05
Posts 154work |
"Welcome to where dreams come true, And nightmares if you let them too, Now come and take the Hatter's hand, We welcome you to Wonderland," I really liked this part. The whole thing was really cool. Jezz |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I love this. takes me somewhere else. familiar and distant. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Woah. This was totally cool, I'm a big fan of Alice in Wonderland. I loved these lines: "I pull the strings... I deal the cards... I rule above the Queen of Hearts. All is mine, As you shall see, Because I'll never let you leave" Great job. "I tried so hard....But in the end...It doesn't even matter.."~LP |
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PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA |
Woah, I really really loved this one! I thought it was really creative, and I love Alice in Wonderland also, hehe. My favorite part was: "I pull the strings... I deal the cards... I rule above the Queen of Hearts." Very awesome! You have a lot of talent, keep it up!!! XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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