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Teen Poetry #7
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tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2005-02-14 11:29 PM


Geez guys I'm sorry I haven't been here too much to respond to yours lately, things are going crazy right now.Well I just wrote this, let me know what you think!


Listen to the tone in my voice,
But look into my eyes.
What you might find is
how much my heart cries.

When I say leave me alone,
I’m asking you to follow,
Cause if you were to leave me,
My heart would be so hollow.

I might tell you not to call me,
That I just need my time,
Soon I’ll be running back,
cause you’re still on my mind.

When I say I don’t need you,
I’m asking you to be there.
I may not admit it to you,
But it means the world that you care.

When I say I’m fine, I’m ok,
I’m crying out for you,
I’m asking you to be there
To assure me I’ll make it through.

When I talk about other guys,
I’m trying to see your reaction,
Knowing you care enough to be mad
shows me your attraction.

I might say I don’t miss you,
But you’re always on my mind.
As the clock ticks one second longer,
An escape from you I can’t find.

I might appear over you now,
But the truth is I’m just scared,
With all these mixed signals
I’m just asking you to be there.

-Erin


AIM-blueyed angel940
One day u'll ask which is more important,u or my life. I'll answer my life and u'll walk away never knowing u are my life.

© Copyright 2005 Erin - All Rights Reserved
ShadyMakaveli
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128

1 posted 2005-02-16 01:26 PM


I can't believe no one else has responded to this yet, very good work here, powerful contradictions being expressed here, I really enjoyed this.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2005-02-16 03:40 PM


understood this
well done!

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
3 posted 2005-02-17 08:51 AM


omg... i was doing this exact same thing today..... lol...  well written and definitly hitting the nail on the head as they say for meanings here...
well written and going into my library...
keep posting
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
4 posted 2005-02-18 06:06 PM


I think you should pass this out in brochure form to guys, then maybe we would get the responses we are looking for. Is it really that hard to figure out?

Nice write, thanks for sharing.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
5 posted 2005-02-18 07:21 PM


"When I say leave me alone,
I’m asking you to follow,
Cause if you were to leave me,
My heart would be so hollow.

When I say I’m fine, I’m ok,
I’m crying out for you,
I’m asking you to be there
To assure me I’ll make it through."

Those are my favorite stanzas, very awesome job on this one.

"Cuz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away..."~ Seether

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2005-03-05 02:43 PM


This is a really good write and is definitely a must read for all boys and men, maybe now I’m an inch closer to understanding. I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing it with us.

Andrew

Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
7 posted 2005-03-30 01:49 AM


very nice indeed

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
8 posted 2005-04-01 05:06 PM


quote:
I might appear over you now,
But the truth is I’m just scared,
With all these mixed signals
I’m just asking you to be there.


A few months ago, this would have been me.  
Now, I'm stuck somewhere between moving on
and being trapped.  I think I like this one
even better than the last one I just reviewed.
You've always been a wonderful poet in my eyes
and this just show's how right I am.


                               -Rich


"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

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