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Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2005-02-04 09:05 AM

this is a horrific pain at the small of my back and all up my spine.
the deepest shiver, the cold like anchorage winters with everyone buddled tight and shoveling their driveways.
how can I forget you when you keep appearing in my dreams, and your voice is crystalized in my ear.
and there you say beautiful things like you used to. and you hug me there and your eyes are not fleeting.

The cold that's unmoving, hot tea lands cold in my stomach for its solid ice on the way down
and you can't help but break every bone in your body.
would it kill me to speak to this cold with words aflame? would it kill me.

there's no sugar in my tea and its bitter and discoloured.
all because the you left in me broke off inside me like a branch torn from the trunk.
and there it rots and distorts. and its not healthy. I'm not healthy.

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

1 posted 2005-02-05 10:41 AM

Very visual, I liked it. I can relate. Thanks for sharing.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

The Jackal
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

2 posted 2005-02-05 09:16 PM

I enjoyed the stark imagery, I believe its always important to allow your feelings to be naked in a poem, and thats what i took from this.. great work

New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2005-02-08 09:35 PM

to say it simply: i love your stuff.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

4 posted 2005-02-09 03:56 PM

Every poem I read of yours, I never
know what to say because with each
one I read, it just keeps getting
better and better.

Loved the imagery in this,
and the raw emotions.

Beautiful.

-Kelly

You play the song I know.
You are the song I know.

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

5 posted 2005-02-11 08:44 AM

this is so raw and powerful...
it makes me think even more about my ex than i want to but this is beautiful all the same...
thankyou for this, i would love to read more.
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

Acies