Teen Poetry #7 |
True Love (some cures words used) |
Gottigirl505 New Member
since 2006-02-06
Posts 4New Mexico, Us |
True Love, That's what you called it, I didn't think it was even a little bit. They called me a slut, They called me a whore. When i asked you to stand up for me, You just walked out the door. So your old enough to lie, Your old enough to cheat. Your man enough to cry, But mad enough to beat. Well i'm old enough to leave, Old enough to know. When it comes to true love, Boy, you just say no. So take your lies, take Your tears. Cause there not to be heard by these ears. |
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© Copyright 2006 Kandice Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Howzit??? NICE poem here TOTALLY understand ya! x0x0 Free_Spirit07 |
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Gottigirl505 New Member
since 2006-02-06
Posts 4New Mexico, Us |
Thanks...I wrote this right after me an my boyfriend broke up. |
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XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
WOW!!! this is great- it sounds like a rap in a way- XoXo, |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
i agree . its aawsome! can totallly relate Jessica |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey, Just wanted to say a couple things about your poem… One of them is it doesn’t always rhyme, you notice? I’m not sure if you were going for the rhyming effect or not. Something that really helps you out is saying the poem out loud to yourself, it helps make sure the flow is good, there’s rhyme, and it’s not stiff in parts. Also this line “Well i'm old enough to leave, Old enough to know. When it comes to true love, Boy, you just say no.” I’m not sure I would have put the “boy” in there. Other than that, good job! Keep writing P.S. Wow! i really am being a gloomy gus about everyones poems, i apologize. Sometimes i get a little carried away trying to point out faults and not add the good things. If this insults anyone double apology, i will try to mend my ways! @-->--- |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
WoW!! Great poem |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I do feel like this is use a little polishing but other than that I loved the emotion you put in it.. it was amazing.. keep it up.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
This poem actually sounds like it could be a song. It's a really good write, even though it was brought on by a breakup. Hope everything is ok! ~Alli~ |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
this poem is amazing and a great write im looking forward to reading more |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
nice job!! |
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