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Teen Poetry #7
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Hello it's 10am
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Hello it's 10am |
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John B Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 68Texas, USA 
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places that people actually get high places that people feel like they're going to die you don't know you're suppose to sip on this type other ways lead you to tip your hat and gripe you don't know this change overflows the carriage in this hell you call home, a miscarriage you don't know i want this heaven you want so much feelings have gone up for sale, so they can touch you don't know about stealing things that aren't mine hating every moment of this righteous wine you don't know i think happiness goes here, where the door's shut. trapping my catch instead of trapping the fear of what you don't know hey my winamp is playing something i can never have --dreams are dying i'll let them die. //B |
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| © Copyright 2005 John Nathan Booker - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"you don't know i think happiness goes here, where the door's shut. trapping my catch instead of trapping the fear of what you don't know" this was the best part for me... glad to see you not using your favorite word so much  (teasing you...) |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
it was pretty good. i enjoyed the thoughts that went into this. the only problem i saw was that it jumped around so much. the main point of the poem was lost for much of the piece. that is my only critique. keep it up. |
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John B Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 68Texas, USA |
COOL |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
wow I love how you wtite I like this line: other ways lead you to tip your hat and gripe nice! |
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