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Teen Poetry #7

Us (not what you think)

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

0 posted 2004-12-01 07:14 AM

I haven't posted on here in quite a while, but this is something I found in a note book from a long time a go. I know it is really bad, but anyone that has advice to make it better, please help me? lol

Us

You say you couldn't breathe,
Is it because of me?

You told me you couldn't love,
Because of your past with her.

You say you see the good in life,
Is it because of me?

You told me you were crushed,
And she made you feel rushed.

You told me your views have changed,
Is it all because of me?

I hope your answer is yes,
To every single one.

But I know you won't,
Because you haven't seen the changed me....

From what you know,
Her & me are the same she!

Tell me if anyone gets this or nto?! Lol, I thought it got a little confusing!

Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

1 posted 2004-12-01 07:17 AM

omg that's a deep one i get it. great great poem dear.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
"and we'll all float on ok....." - modest mouse
aim - reklesabandnrckr

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

2 posted 2004-12-01 10:43 AM

not confusing to me at all. i thought it was quite a good poem.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-12-01 06:37 PM

I told you when I first read it that it was good! And no, I wasn't confused! You just underestimate me Bailey!

You know I'm kidding...lol...good write!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

4 posted 2004-12-01 09:29 PM

Thanks Robin and DreamChild..... after I read it a couple times I liked it a lot better than before.

Yeah, I know alli, i was just messin around! Talk to you later, chikie!!

Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

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