Why should shadows be assured?

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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-11-25 05:02 PM

Why should shadows be assured?

Make the picture clear as hydromancy
in a spawning pool for frogs, all blithe and
atrabilious of mind...We all have split-hoofed
minds...Pigs one and all.
You make us want to take our lives
with the tip of the happy hour glass.
Good luck choking down the olive.
Whisper the wisest counsel a fool could offer
(I'll undertake understanding as a profession)
and propose slavery as an art form, black robed,
chained to the response of your mouths.
Kiss my cheek as Judas, loving until the moment
of crucifixion, then bowels flow like
vomit from the mouth of adolescent drunks.
I am youthful in my thought, tongue small and wrinkled,
much like a worm after swimming in the rain for a season.
Play for me the bliss of obeying
words taken for granted,
arpeggios in letters spill forwards and back,
spin the cycle again for new meaning.
I am meaning to you. You are meaning...
less
pray for silence.

[This message has been edited by young_blood (11-26-2004 12:38 AM).]

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2004-11-25 06:10 PM

Wow... great writing, I think I understood about half of that, quite complicated and detailed language and amazing imagery. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Andrew

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-11-25 08:45 PM

thank you for commenting. when i wrote this i was thinking at the end i could make it really obvious what i was talking about or i could leave it open to interpretation by the reader. i left it open. i hope that someone guesses what i was trying to discribe though. i left some clues. once again, thank you for commenting.

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

3 posted 2004-11-25 11:18 PM

once again, alex, great writing.
but way too deep.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-11-25 11:41 PM

hmmm....too deep? thanks for reading.

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

5 posted 2004-11-25 11:56 PM

well, not too deep, per say, but too in depth. i'd rather read something like this in a novel perhaps. great writing though.
please write on!

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

6 posted 2004-11-26 12:30 PM

Im about to battle my crazy thoughts, wish me luck.

I loved this poem, at first i read it and deemed it as "too deep" like others did. Then I reread it and found parts i enjoyed, and as i read more i found grest parts with meaning and writing like this makes me wonder while you were writing this did you have intentions of how much once sentence can make one person feel, it can make an allusion into so many things. I feel like you planned out each sentence carefully. But who knows maybe who wrote this drunk not knowing anything and this poem doenst even make sense to you, Maybe im just some crazy girl...
Ok..Im done.

I enjoyed it.
<3
Persephone

She would rather be dead than fat,
Dead and perfect, like Nefertiti

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

7 posted 2004-11-26 12:37 PM

I'm glad that you enjoyed it. no i didn't write it drunk and i do know what it means to me. each setence was carefully worded and thought out. this was the first time i had done that in a while. thank you for reading.

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