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Teen Poetry #7
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Like What You See?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Like What You See? |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York 
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thought you'd contain me Keep me under 'till I drown make me who you want me to be Thought you were bad but I'm much worse Thought I'd been had, but this is your last verse Bet you never saw it coming but now it's too late I hit the ground running and left you to your fate You even read my writing but you never learned; you try to ride lighting and you only get burned The boy you made is dead and I'm dancing on his grave You killed him in your bed when you made him your slave Now I'm all there is just what I wanna be So now you answer me this: Like what you see? (^.-) ****************************************** Not really sure where this came from. I Guess I was just thinking of how I'd spent my life, especially the past 2 years, trying to be who eveyone wanted me to be. In the past 2 months, something snapped in me, and that side of me was murdered by, well, what I am now. So much anger and pride, heavily inspired by Saliva's latest single, "Survival of the Sickest." No one ever saw what lived right under my fragile facade, until it was too late. I wonder just how many of us live like that... but now is not the time nor this the place to ponder that philosophical question. P34(3! Winamp is Playing: "Survival Of The Sickest" Saliva Survival of the Sickest |
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| © Copyright 2004 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
good post my friend. " Now what do you THINK about that? " |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Glad you liked it!  Still dunno what came over me, but I know I'm lovin' it![center]"I'm burning in the heavens, |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
keep it up!  |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
that is an awesome CD.... and this is a great poem.... no I don't think folks realize what is just under most folks' skin or just how fragile that facade really truly is and how easy it can be to break it down... |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow, Im really really loving this one!! I understand exactly where you're coming from with this. Just the other night I decided that I was sick of pretending to be something else for the sake of other people. That's still a work in progress, I keep catching myself pretending unconciously. I couldn't have written this better myself. I love the line, "Thought I'd been had, but this is your last verse" And the 5th stanza. Excellent work!!! Perfect. But Im comforted |
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NightFall Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88The land known as England |
its excallent when you read a poem like this and realise what you'v been missing or what you did when you realised this was happening, well written, excallent. "My only love sprung from my only hate to early seen unkown and known to late" Romeo and juliet- William shakespere. |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Oooo! For what can only be called a spur of the moment poem, this certainly is getting some serious attention! Isn't it funny that we try so hard to please that we actually have to refer to being ourselves as a, "work in progress," and yet pretending and blending in come so naturally? When did life become all about the whole and less about the individual? I think too many have forgotten that the whole would be nothing but for the sum of it's parts. Then again, I suppose it's because the individual is almost taboo in society and self expression is the exception and not the rule, that places like PIP exist and thrive. Hmm... have to think about that one. [center]"I'm burning in the heavens, |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
wow rich this was just amzing. your feelings were jsut greatly expressed in this poem. i can relate with every word of it. robin hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt! |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I can relate too...this is such an emotional post. Great job!!  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I thought the last three stanzas were especially strong. Very raw. I love it. |
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