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WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

0 posted 2004-10-30 06:14 PM

This isn't my best wright. But my mom and I had fought the night I wrote it. After I had the guilty feeling..... so here it is:

Life could....
Slip Away
At any time of any day
But would you know how much I care?

You brought me here
And I hope I don't leave
Before your time is up.

God has his will
And we have ours
But will he always listen?

I have lived life to the fullest
Done all I wanted
For this time in life.

Except one thing.....
I want to tell you
How much I love you!

Yoe've been there for me
And I've been there for you
We didn't walways see eye-to-eye
But we got through alright.

You've married someone great
For both you and me.
And I know that if i shall go
Before you, he will be there
To comfort and to care.

I love you more
Than words can write
And writing this now
Makes my throat go tight

In my thirteen years
I've seen everything I need to
But I was only guided
With two hands and one heard
And mom, those belong to you!

So before life slips away,
I want to tell you,
How much you mean to me
And how much I love you!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-10-30 07:01 PM

"I love you more
Than words can write"

Loved that line.

Only thing is that I would go back and fix the spelling errors in the poem, other than that...great write!!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

2 posted 2004-10-31 04:04 PM

Here are the corrections:

Life could....
Slip Away
At any time of any day
But would you know how much I care?

You brought me here
And I hope I don't leave
Before your time is up.

God has his will
And we have ours
But will he always listen?

I have lived life to the fullest
Done all I wanted
For this time in life.

Except one thing.....
I want to tell you
How much I love you!

You've been there for me
And I've been there for you
We didn't always see eye-to-eye
But we got through alright.

You've married someone great
For both you and me.
And I know that if I shall go
Before you, he will be there
To comfort and to care.

I love you more
Than words can write
And writing this now
Makes my throat go tight

In my thirteen years
I've seen everything I need to
But I was only guided
With two hands and one heard
And mom, those belong to you!

So before life slips away,
I want to tell you,
How much you mean to me
And how much I love you!

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-11-01 08:39 PM

Just so you know, there is a way you can go back and edit your posts. I'll tell you later on aim.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Mick Hawkes
Member

since 2000-10-26

Posts 90
Tees-side , England

4 posted 2004-11-11 07:00 PM

I enjoyed it very much, i think the best poems come straight from the heart to the pen!.. & what better person to write about than your mum..
once again great write, i enjoyed it thanks.

Never take life too seriously - None of us gets out alive!

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

5 posted 2004-11-11 09:30 PM

Thanks for the compliments!

Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

6 posted 2004-11-13 08:42 PM

yup. good one.

~Express Yourself~

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