[UntTITLed] Invisible Crafts

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Teen Poetry #7

[UntTITLed] Invisible Crafts

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-10-25 01:34 PM

[UntTITLed] Invisible Crafts

The silky night sky
Has a double-mind tonight.
It's upper torso lies exposed
Shining bright freckles above my nose.
One eye looms like hopeful doom,
Pointing out the unbridled groom.

The flat black sky
Has a double-mind tonight.
Lower legs cower behind
The anger of October fights.
Ruffles line the midnight dress
Hiding jewels among the mess.

Blow me over,
Please blow over.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-10-25 04:58 PM

I love how it flows.
and the length is perfect.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-10-25 06:56 PM

Alex, I know that you like critiques, but I find nothing that I could do to improve this poem...it is already amazing.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-10-25 09:34 PM

thank you both

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

4 posted 2004-10-25 09:44 PM

the length on this is perfect, it helps establish the feeling. It's awesome Alex, just awesome.

so much (3) is up.. if you can find it/want to read it.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2004-10-27 12:28 PM

thanks allysa

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

6 posted 2004-11-13 09:04 PM

this is great man! i really like it!

~Express Yourself~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

7 posted 2004-11-13 11:15 PM

thank you...

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