Five Violins (Scream With Abandon)

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Teen Poetry #7

Five Violins (Scream With Abandon)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-09-27 01:26 PM

Five Violins (Scream With Abandon)

The backdrop perfects the dialogue,
Straight black, back to back,
Fingers out-stretched, condemn.
Jagged lines hang as if to log
The backdraft, edge to edge,
Razor-burn reaches to, wrists.

Your favorite song screams again,
While you whisper forgetable lines.
Let me swallow the record, sharpened
Needle and all, you're so beautiful.
Do you love my voice at volume?
Am I angry enough to scream now?
I am tired enough to whisper at you,
Blowing soft words to volatilism.

My heart spins as a 45, double speed...
The needle scratches out the sounds you hear...
The words rotate through the slowest shuffle...

The backdrop perfects the dialogue,
Straight black, back to back,
Fingers out-stretched, condemn...

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-09-28 04:55 PM

...it surprises me no one has replied to this yet...

I happened to love this one. It probably isnt your best to some, but for me, i think maybe it comes close.

I could really relate and understand, and it just hit home for me i guess. Not many of your poems have done that...so i guess that is why i like this one soo much.

The metaphors and all of that were great, but it was sort of the story you protrayed that i liked the best. The way i could sort of SEE it and FEEL it, and not just be erading it.

Anyways..I hope to see more from you soon.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-09-28 09:18 PM

thanks karissa, i love it that you comment so much. i'm glad that one finally hit home to you.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

3 posted 2004-10-22 01:31 PM

this is just outstanding...

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

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