Teen Poetry #7 |
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You Kissed Me |
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Peach Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 33 |
I didn't think that love made you blind I thought only the blind would fall in love but then you kissed me I thought love songs were only about other people but then you kissed me I thought I had already been as happy as I would ever be but then you kissed me You told me it had to be over and I couldn't breathe but you couldn't kiss me I sat alone crying harder than I've ever cried before but you couldn't kiss me My world came crashing down I'd never felt more alone but you couldn't kiss me I'd be okay I'd have my happiness back if you could only kiss me If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. |
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© Copyright 2004 Megan Andrews - All Rights Reserved | |||
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Good write, a little bit of metaphors or similes wouldnt hurt, butas far as being a decent, solid poem this is good. But metaphors would make it a lot more interesting. I ask why, but in my mind, |
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*Alli4000*![]()
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I agree with Kissa about putting some metaphors in, but wither way I enjoyed this poem. Great work! I can't wait to read more! ![]() ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* |
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Tequilia_Sunrise Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada |
well i diagree. I think this is a wonderfull poem full of feelings. angry,sad,confused feelings! aand this was probably not writen to please the reader. im guessiing you wrote this for yourself, to help get out those feelings. you did a good job! thankx for sharing |
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