Teen Poetry #7 |
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the perfect guy |
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red_angel*16 Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 71 |
(I wrote this poem about my crush so please give me a comment !!! ) The perfect guy would make me laugh The perfect guy won't make me cry The perfect guy would love me til the end The perfect guy would be sweet The perfect guy would be true to me The perfect guy would hold my hand The perfect guy wont cheat on me The perfect guy would always be with me The perfect guy would kiss me likes he means it The perfect guy would never leave me The perfect guy would be cute The perfect guy I'm talking about is you !!! |
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© Copyright 2004 red_angel*16 - All Rights Reserved | |||
dodge_chick2003 Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136California |
I thought your intention was good but it sounded like you were making a list of what you want. But this time I like the ending!! |
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*Alli4000*![]()
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I like it, and I think that everyone can relate to this on some level of what they want in a guy. My only suggestion would be to make it rhyme, or maybe make it flow better. Without the rhyming or flowing, it sounds like what Dodge_chick said, a list. But overall I like it alot. ![]() ![]() Btw...it is going into my library. ![]() ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* |
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thinktwice Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125United States |
the perfect guy is a nice thought. i know for me the perfect is a nice thought. i don't believe she exists though. people's faults are what make them human. |
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thinktwice Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 125United States |
i ly pressed submit.....i did like the poem for it's innocence and purity. |
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red_angel*16 Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 71 |
hey guys thanks for your replys they really means alot to me !!! |
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davidmerriman Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 123Dallas, TX |
haha funny poem |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
gah what a great poem! and how lucky you are for findint the perfect guy! |
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