The Day (edit- To my future husband)

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Teen Poetry #7

The Day (edit- To my future husband)

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2004-09-16 04:00 PM

Run with me
Run with you
Let's be free
just us two
Share with me
make me new
Endlessly
we'll be true

Take this hand
tie me down
Here I stand
In this gown
Wear this band
like a crown
In dreamland
we shall drown

Words we say
from the heart
Make this day
our own art
Love won't frey
it won't start
Come what may
we won't part
-----------------
It is Definitely a rough draft, i just wrote it! I had wedding on the mind (because next yr I'm getting married!!) and this is what came out, please give me any C&C you got! THANKS!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

[This message has been edited by PoeTik JusTice (09-17-2004 04:20 AM).]

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-09-17 11:06 PM

Wow! Congrats on getting married!

This poem is so sweet. I can't believe no one has replied.

I don't really have any like real suggestions for the poem. I know that there are things you can improve upon and stuff, but I just can't seem to pick them out...

When you finish this poem, you should get it framed and then give it to you fiancé/husband on your wedding day!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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