navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » inkjets ran dry on the third page...
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic inkjets ran dry on the third page... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-09-13 01:36 PM



a landscape of finality
canvases the stolen night.
a thief in form of the sun
creeps along the borders of
a world longing for desecration.

a single tree signals S.O.S.
from it's island in the swamp.
another answers its distress,
freely dotting the grassy waters
at last with leaves of fire.

a single fear covers our view
of the outside air's rainbowed hue,
affirming what our hands betrayed
or the things the sun portrayed
and the swamp's hope became dismayed.

© Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
1 posted 2004-09-20 10:16 PM


anyone wanna reply?
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2004-11-09 10:18 AM


nature used in poetry is always good.
this is no exception.

LegalSecret69
Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 69
Virginia
3 posted 2004-11-10 12:24 PM


To be honest, I really really liked this...though not completely understood, it kept my attention and was pretty deep. I would like to see more poems from you.
earthdust
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 53
predestined and foreknown
4 posted 2004-11-12 12:17 PM


why dont you try something different, and see what else you can create with your remarkable talent for words.

" Understanding is more valuable than diamonds. If you can understand me, Then you are a very rich person. "

TY!

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
5 posted 2004-11-12 09:38 AM


what do you  mean?
~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
6 posted 2004-11-13 08:37 PM


try writing something relative to your personal experiences, something with some feelings that i can relate to. express YOURSELF to me. show me your artistic self.
use your heart, not your brain. thats what i like to get from poetry.

you do write very well, and that is quite a talent.

           ~Express Yourself~
          

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
7 posted 2004-11-13 11:12 PM


i got tired of writing emotions. i'd rather write calculating things. all of my older works were all written when emotion was fresh. now i sit back until it fades and i can think straight.
earthdust
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 53
predestined and foreknown
8 posted 2004-11-14 10:35 PM


ok, thats understandable... no need to stop writing when emotion is lacking...
especially when your good at it.
your intellectal poems make good reads.
your work is appreciated.

" Understanding is more valuable than diamonds. If you can understand me, Then you are a very rich person. "

TY!

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
9 posted 2004-11-15 08:28 AM


I'd like to disagree, this peice is filled with emotion, you have a dig a little thats all. Nice writing, I really enjoyed the read

Andrew

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
10 posted 2004-11-15 11:34 AM


got tired of writing emotions. i'd rather write calculating things. all of my older works were all written when emotion was fresh. now i sit back until it fades and i can think straight.
**************************
interesting approach...though I am of the mind that your emotive writing saturates the page in layers of blood of sweat...whereas if it is calculated....and defined with a specific purpose...your reader gets only the precision...with which you bleed...

I enjoy your work, youngblood...it is fresh and compelling...

write-on...like to see what else ya got...

P E A C E and O N E

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
11 posted 2004-11-16 12:07 PM


"a single fear covers our view
of the outside air's rainbowed hue,
affirming what our hands betrayed
or the things the sun portrayed
and the swamp's hope became dismayed."

i liked that part a lot. such a great poem dear i loved it. very very well. keep on sharin.
Robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
12 posted 2004-11-16 05:28 PM


thank you all very much. i'm so glad that people are enjoying my writing.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » inkjets ran dry on the third page...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary