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Teen Poetry #7

im all alone

Lindsay
Member

since 2003-03-26

Posts 59
South Dakota

0 posted 2004-09-05 11:07 PM

Out of place, lost
Wondering why I’m here
I just want out
It’s to hard, I cant take it anymore
I’m all alone, there is no one else here
No one to hold me tight
No one to tell me everything is going to be ok
I scream for help, but my call is lost in an echo
It’s no use, no one can hear me
I’m all alone…..

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-09-06 12:06 PM

I like it. Sorta short, but htats okay.

The only thin i suggest changing, is

No one to tell me everythings going to be okay,
to:

No one to tell me everythings gonna be alright.

Otherwise, i really liked it.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

2 posted 2004-09-06 02:00 PM

I liked this and have felt this way so many times, alot lately, nice job.

Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-09-11 10:19 PM

Lindsay, this was an awesome poem! The one thing I found wrong with it, was that it was too short. lol...

Anyway, I understand how you feel, and I've been feeling like this recently as well.

Nice work, keep it up!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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