Teen Poetry #7 |
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Discount Tile |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going ![]() |
Discount Tile suffocated vent clear duct tape repelling required heat from a frozen room yet a fan cools the ice is this place liveable? can i call it home? mass confusion of the few stranded in faulty corridors but at least th wallpaper was cheap The tile was discount as well could i get a pat on the back for that? i whisper these explicitly vague descriptions through oximoronic phrases just to show my befuddled disposition did you get all that? advancement of vocabulary although a prerequisite of nations old and new comes to be a discouragement of the land of the free apparently to be brave is to be uneducated and basic. do these words mean anything? could they be more than pen strokes on a page? only to those who've taken the time to not be slapped back, strapped back,or held to what their parents have taught. only to those who let the media and pop culture pass them by in order to further themselves and those that never took notice left to dangle or lie down in the vat on their own inactivity. this was spawned in a creative writing class. let me know what you think and what i can do better. nice use of muffin |
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© Copyright 2004 John Lervezuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
hmmm...well i liked it a lot, but it sort of just seemed to drag on towards the end. Maybe just me. I would recomend maybe adding some metaphors or similes towards the last few stanzas... Otherwise i liked it. The overall meaning was awesome... Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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