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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-08-13 01:29 PM

To The Streets We Rise

Welcome back, you forgetful sky
Smiling with the jagged pine teeth.
Do not whisper secrets in tongues
That only prowling wolves reply to,
Those languages fade into the dusk.
If you look out across the plain,
The backdrop as a skinned bear's back,
Men move like the thickest lice.
What is the importance of my bad day?
Does a fox worry of the sounding of a gun?
Why must i profane to the sound of a late alarm?
Good morning Sun, just a minute more.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-08-19 05:34 PM

hmmm...not ur best, but i liked it. The ending was the best i think.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

2 posted 2004-12-19 03:48 AM

love it

awesome ending and wicked vocab... could've been a bit longer but yeah awesome

love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-12-19 11:42 AM

thanks for reading

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

4 posted 2004-12-19 05:47 PM

I can just imagine this being said in a movie...some rustic setting and some scruffy cute guy with an english accent. I liked it alot

I can't be your superman

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2004-12-21 02:42 PM

haha...thank you.

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

6 posted 2004-12-22 01:06 PM

young blood, young blood, critique from you makes my heart grow fonder of the poetry scene, an endless world since the last we've spoke, however your still dressed and your writings so unclean. theres something sexy about the way you write, the way you think, yet theres no love, theres no romance. i think you've got some stories to tell...i think you know what i mean. NICE WRITE
~Ashley~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

7 posted 2004-12-23 10:21 AM

haha...thank you for reading. your comment makes me chuckle inside. you seem to be one who understands the true meanings of the words I write in poetic form.

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