Teen Poetry #7 |
Grab An Oar (I Hope Your Arms Are Stronger Than Mine) |
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
there you are standing all alone on an ocean gone wrong, the ground dashing itself against your ankles...(excellent sea legs darling) pull your ears out again as my words drown in a league above the sea, you're awfully calm for all the sinking we're doing...(what? we're doing what? what we're doing is...) obscene. sometimes i wonder if i love you at all but they're only words So we might as well let go. now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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© Copyright 2005 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I really liked this poem, you are excellent. I'm going to store it in my library. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you very much. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
anymore comments? |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
mmmm. I like this, I like the whole relation to the sea. sometimes i wonder if i love you at all but they're only words So we might as well let go. I really liked these lines... |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
oooooooooo thank you lexy. |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
I enjoyed the use of all the paranthetical lines in this. It sort of brought out a subtle intensity to me. enjoyable write, sir. -John nice use of muffin |
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electricxheart Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184far away from home. |
I love the way you write. ' sometimes i wonder if i love you at all but they're only words So we might as well let go.' These parts stood out to me and seemed to say so much. keep on writing. --kelly |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
another excellent piece my friend. look into trying to get something published yet? "Do not go gentle into that good night, |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
once again thank you all for the support and wonderful remarks. i have not yet looked into it. i have a connection at Purdue, so maybe something will happen. thanks again all. |
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