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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Wounded Answers |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world 
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Why is it that when Life seems just right, That all of the things we see Are suddenly torn from our sight? Everything that was Once so very clear, Now a hazy fog through Which you can’t peer. I try to look through the fog, So many questions in my mind; Unsure of so many things, Afraid of what I would find. I’ve been whipped around. Torn, scarred, and confused, I lay on the hard cold ground Feeling so hurt and abused. Tears spring to my eyes from the pain and suffering I feel. The wounds are so new and undiscovered, It will take sometime for them to heal. Why can’t I understand What He’s trying to say? It’s like trying to find the sun On a gray, cloudy day. No matter what I choose, Someone gets hurt somehow. It’s back to my simple question, “What do I do now?” Erin Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Erin - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Erin! How could no one reply to this poem yet!?!? I really liked this poem, because you expressed your feelings so well. The only thing I would improve upon, is to add more descriptions, but it was still a great poem. My two favorite stanzas were: "I try to look through the fog, So many questions in my mind; Unsure of so many things, Afraid of what I would find. I’ve been whipped around. Torn, scarred, and confused, I lay on the hard cold ground Feeling so hurt and abused." Nice job! Keep writing!  ~Alli~ I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Amazing write, i must say. I really liked it. the only thing i could think of to improve it, would be to add more description, like ^^^^ said. Very amazing. I really cannot beleive you only have one other post besides mine. I am sure you will get more though.. Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Hey again Erin! I know that I'm probably not suppost to be doing this, but I'm gonna bump your poem back to the top of the list.  I really liked this poem alot, and I feel like it deserves to have more than 2 repilies...well that's just my opinion, but whatever...  ~Alli~ I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry. |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Thanks *Alli4000*, I'm glad you liked it and was willing to let everyone else give it a 2nd shot, apparently no one else liked it! lol I wish they'd at least tell me what I could to do improve but o well! Thanks again! Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
It's no problem...and look....me replying bumbs it up once again....lol!  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is really kool.... i agree with the others on working with the imagery but this is a beautiful poem all the same... i wouldnt change much because this is sooo good and im really happy alli gave it another chance... nicely done and i hope to read more of your work soon. cheers Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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