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Teen Poetry #7
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in self defense ;i won't sleep a wink...to prevent dreaming of you
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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in self defense ;i won't sleep a wink...to prevent dreaming of you |
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Sweetest Sorrow X Member
since 2004-01-19
Posts 146From a cradle to a casket 
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His name was angel. He was long forgotten until now. photographs, remind me. They remind me of the boy, The boy I hoped and wished for. He was older, But we were both young. He was perfect, But we were both dumb. He was the boy who took care of me. He was the boy whom I hoped for and wanted. He was the boy that I loved first and forever. I bet anything he doesn't remember me. We used to runaway. He held me by the hand and we, We hung out by the park. We played in the sand and we, We played holdin' hands and we, We loved every minute. But then the war had started, We were forcefully parted. Don't think I've seen him in 7 years. He was the boy who took care of me. He was the boy whom I hoped for and wanted. He was the boy I loved first and forever. I bet anything he never thinks of me. I hear about him sometimes. Never hear from him though. Even now that the war is over, He never let's me know, Doesn't let me know, How he feels. After everything, all of the hurting. The wanting, the waiting, the anticipating, The promise he broke when he told me he cared. When he shook on it, spit on it and pinky sweared. He was the boy who took care of me. He was the boy whom I hoped for and wanted. He was the boy I loved first and forever. I'd bet you anything he doesn't care anymore. But I gave him my love, Gave him all of my childhood love. And now I'm all grown up. I'm so much better now. Cause now I have a realer love. A sweeter love. Another boy. Who takes care of me. The plaster dented from you fist..In the hall where you had your first kiss..Reminds you that the memorys wont fade |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
 some of this reminds me of a song |
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dodge_chick2003 Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136California |
I agree this would be a really great song. I can relate to this, it is like my past two relationships. I enjoy reading your work. Keep posting I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your a**!!! |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I think you could have ended it at "childhood love" and it would be perfect. "He was the boy that I loved first and forever." Isn't that just how it is. how every love after that, is still defined after that first love. this was very good, I'm impressed. |
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blackandwhitehorizon Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183an akward state of mind |
aw cute. i like it especially like this line... "When he shook on it, spit on it and pinky sweared." |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
ah, very sweet, first loves are always the fondest to look back upon and always the hardest to get over. Very cute poem. ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Omg...wow..i'm speechless once again  I just have to say that I love learning about you through your poems. When I'm reading one, it's like I'm looking into your soul and being able to see everything that you're thinking and feeling. Pretty weird way to describe it, huh? lol... Anyways, I love your poems...and this is no exception...keep writing!!! ~Alli~ I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry. |
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Sweetest Sorrow X Member
since 2004-01-19
Posts 146From a cradle to a casket |
Awww..Thanks... If you ever want to talk..My screen name on aim is Run Right To Him I believe that lovers should be tied together and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather and left there to drownin their innocence |
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brezee Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140 |
AWWW! this is so sweet! I've never seen anyone go into much detail like that,plus I can relate, just as, im sure, many others can...I really like this! awesome job! ~*brezee*~ |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
"when we shook on it, spit on it, and pinky sweared" I loved that line, it was just so sweet. This was a beautifull poem, and it just sort of got better as it went along, which i love in poems.... Amazing write... Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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