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lilibeelee
Member

since 2001-07-12

Posts 143

0 posted 2004-07-27 08:38 PM

I remember when I tried to hold on
To something that was never there
How I use to lay by your side
And how you never use to care

Those nights I felt so close
That time you said I love you
So soon it all disappeared
Into the darkness no where near

How I laughed
And how you made me cry
How you turned so quickly
Just laid me in your hands to die

Why is it that my heart so aches?
Longing for respect and love
Every time I think I've found it
My heart takes off and slowly breaks

Remember when our eyes first met
And our very first date
You opened doors and pulled out chairs
The same time, crept up my fate

Slowly fate reminded me
Of what I could never have
Swiftly taken beneath my nose
This love that once was mine

Stolen now, stolen now
Lost in time

Your love was never real
You were never really there
This love you proclaimed to me
Was nothing but a lie
This is nothing close to fair

What have I done to deserve this way
How much more must I pay
How much more do I owe
I have given this all I can go

Tare me down
take my dreams
nothing is
what it seems

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2004-07-27 08:57 PM

nothing is what it seems...very powerful.
Such a hard realization to make sometimes.... but you know- you're young. There will be others.... better one's too!

Woe is me? No no no...there is a tomorrow. It's up to you tp decide whether you're going to wake up or stay in bed and call it quits.

good luck

keep posting/replying

I left my wallet in El Segundo...
And I gotta get it
I got got to get it!

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-07-28 04:53 PM

Hmmm Lisa . . . I don't know what to say.

I really liked this poem because you were really able to show your feelings. For example, these are my favorite lines:

"How I laughed
And how you made me cry
How you turned so quickly
Just laid me in your hands to die"

Although, some parts of the poem lost the flow alittle, and didn't quite rhyme I couldn't find anything else wrong!

Nice job

~Alli~

P.S. Like Dopey Dope said, there will be others!! Don't give up hope!!!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2004-07-28 06:41 PM

I loved the ending....

Kissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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