A Half Past Sundown (the final version. It's much better!)

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Teen Poetry #7

A Half Past Sundown (the final version. It's much better!)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-07-09 12:40 PM

i changed the lyrics to better match my bands acoustic style.

A Half Past Sundown

The moon is drunk with the sun
Just waiting to sober in the morn,
And like a stream's faded hum
It sinks in the coming storm.

The stars are desperate for friends
Among the bruised in the sky,
And blue never looked odd to them,
They who please all those brown eyes.

I’m singing out to you tonight
Waiting for the twinkle of your eye
Hoping for this to come out right,
But the darkness falls again.

Ashes fall all around our heads,
It leaves our mouths hanging.
Reminds me of the burning end
The last hope is burning…burning.

I’m singing out to you tonight
Waiting for the twinkle of your eye
Hoping for this to come out right,
But the darkness falls again.

Firefly moments pass us by
Wasting black ink on blue paper,
My words will never be seen.
Yours truly and goodbye,
A half past sundown,
Your face will never be seen.

I’m singing out to you tonight
Waiting for the twinkle of your eye
Hoping for this to come out right,
But the darkness falls again.
I’m fearing for the light
The one left in your eye,
Hoping for the words to fall right,
But the darkness falls again.

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

1 posted 2004-07-09 05:27 PM

Wow this is emo... but really good. I'd really love to hear your stuff. You dont have a website or anything, do you?

I play in a couple bands, one slow acoustic emo style, one fast, funky "mars volta" style, and a funk/blues band.

Anyways, this is a great poem, as well as great lyrics. It's about love, but not cheesy or cliche. It's rhyming, but not forced or stupid.
You achieved what most here can not.

Awesome

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

2 posted 2004-07-09 06:29 PM

Mars Volta <3

This is some great writing!..Yeah does your band have a site?

I hope your sleeping good at nights....
Knowing I never sleep at all

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2004-07-09 10:44 PM

Wasting black ink on blue paper

this is good
so good

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2004-07-10 11:07 AM

thank you all very much. unfortunately my band does not have a site. we are going to record a 6 song ep sometime and hopefully i can get some of those songs on D-music.

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