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Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

0 posted 2004-07-04 04:03 PM

a Girl loves this boy
its her secret
she knows very little about him
he is mysterious
rough around the edges
but his beauty compells her
to find out more
and when she does she puts it in her heart
like a keepsake
and if he doesnt know
and she doesnt tell
then he can always be hers
and he cant tell her otherwize
she can see there is something more
in his eyes
and that is what she holds closest
that there is something no one else knows about
that no one else can see

You better count your lucky stars that everything I wish for..doesnt come true

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-07-05 01:52 AM

I liked the beginning, but towards the middle I began to get a bit confused.
Maybe you could explain a little...he had a secret and no one knew but her. She didn't tell anyone. That's where I got confused.
Either way, I'm gonna bump this back up to the top to see what other people think.

~Alli~

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

2 posted 2004-07-05 03:35 AM

It was Kinda like..Her little secret she loved him more then anything. It was the best because he could never reject or..make fun of her. He could be exactly how she liked him.
Which was exactly how she loved it.

You better count your lucky stars that everything I wish for..doesnt come true

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

3 posted 2004-07-05 07:38 AM

i think this is really good... it sums up basically what people think and feel when they have a crush on somebody.... really good write...
keep it up and i hope to see more of your work
Mel

so this is me but what do you care about that????
i am who i am. no one can change that but me, even then it will be a fight to the death

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

4 posted 2004-07-07 10:29 AM

wow good poem ,,,speechlesss

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

5 posted 2004-07-07 02:03 PM

This poem is so well thought out and executed. Good Job

Love,
xXx~*KELLIE*~xXx
Graduation : January 29th 2004

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

6 posted 2004-07-07 02:35 PM

Thank you..It just came easily since It was from what I know.

I hope your sleeping good at nights....
Knowing I never sleep at all

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

7 posted 2004-07-07 03:11 PM

ooo i liked this. very true...playing the "safe route". thats my life story haha its soo much easier to have all these feelings for someone, and just never tell them, because as soon as you say something, everything changes. You have a very rare way of telling a story with your words. Every word seems so delicate. Great job

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

8 posted 2004-07-07 06:35 PM

Thank You so Much Everyone.
<3
Persephone

I hope your sleeping good at nights....
Knowing I never sleep at all

A.L
Member

since 2003-03-15

Posts 131

9 posted 2004-07-09 01:33 PM

this was a good one....
you should write some songs...i dont know if thats what you do but im sure your into punk/emo and i think they'd be good songs

I see me frowning in your eyes...
I see the fear in you...
Where no one ever should be...

::From Autumn To Ashes::

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

10 posted 2004-07-12 03:40 AM

strange, but cool. i think that is as simple as i can put it =) nicely done, honestly.

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

11 posted 2004-07-12 06:43 PM

Thanks Everyone
<3
Persephone

I hope your sleeping good at nights....
Knowing I never sleep at all

pammy
Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 50
California

12 posted 2004-07-13 02:11 PM

i really liked this poem, i understand well what its like to love someone and not be able to tell them. and ive found out that as soon as you do tell them, wether you were friends or you never really talked to them, the whole relationship changes. cant wait to read more of your stuff. thanx for responding to mine.
pammy

~*Pammy*~
"Scarred from the past, longing for the future,and fearing the present"

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