Teen Poetry #7 |
Don't Remind Me |
WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
You left me so far behind and you don't answer when I reply, so quiet Im starting to see your lies. You can't scream as loud as I can when the pain comes roiling in part of it was caused by you. Don't say another word Im glad you haven't it helps me become more indifferent. Let go go ahead I don't know if I care anymore I was blinded by a few words I hadn't often heard, "I love you." When I think of the past I miss you again so keep ignoring me jolt me back to the present, where I don't think I care anymore I don't care if all you said was lies Im glad for the year we shared even if this one's turning bitter. Just don't remind me, of how I loved you too just let me stay in the present where I can be indifferent. W.W. |
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© Copyright 2004 Stephanie White - All Rights Reserved | |||
WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I don't usually write "break up" poems. But what can I say, I was pushed to do it this time. I hope this one is alittle different from the "usual" of it's genre. Thanks for reading. W.W. |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
When I read this to myself, the voice in my head was hardly more than a whisper. I love how there is a subtle power of emotion hidden behind a veil of indifference. Keep writing. |
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Strider612 Junior Member
since 2003-12-21
Posts 46Alabama, United States of America |
That was a good poem for displaying the inconsistencies between how we act and appear and how we really feel inside. It also showed some of the conflict one has when there is a break-up. I think it was a pretty good job. |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Your last reply said it all, great work as always! ~Jess "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix |
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blackandwhitehorizon Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183an akward state of mind |
i like this... yeah it is kind of different.. usually love poems or break up poems get kind of old... i like how you wrote this one "love is but a song we sing and fear's the way we die" |
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sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
it was great and intersting ,,keep posting,,, I hate the world because it does'nt have a taste, i HATE the world because it does'nt have a color.!! |
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Stepharoo Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149Washington, USA |
I really liked this one...yes I know how break up poems can get old...Myself just getting done writing one to my now EX boyfriend... I know how old it can be hearing the same old sob story, but really when you look at it, it all hurts. And everyone has the right to express it... I just really like how you have done it here...Keep it up!!!!! |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
I could have sworn I replied to this. Guess not! Anyway...it was absolutely beautiful. I really liked the differences in the stanzas, and the whole structure. It flowed really well. Almost as a dialogue. And of course, it hit home...hard. I think it's amazing how you can read a poem, and it's like someone else has found the words that you couldnt. You did that for me. Again, beautiful **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it greatly. DancinQueen: Im glad you loved it so much, and Im sorry that you can relate to that kind of pain. It's something I would wish no one to go through. But that's life. Thanks for the reply. WinterWren- |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I agree with everyone else, this poem was absolutly amazing. I can't believe that I didn't reply to it sooner. ~Alli~ |
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Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
hey steph,love this one.exactly how i felt after my break up earlier on in the yr. Jesus died that you might live...accept that and u shall be saved. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
hey. Wow, this was an amazing write. I could feel your hurt through your words. Very awesome. kissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
I just really like this...lol **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was alright. Towards the middle it gets kind of blah, but the beginning caught me, and the ending (specifically the last stanza) was great! Keep workin on it I left my wallet in El Segundo... |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Don't say another word Im glad you haven't it helps me become more indifferent. Yeah I know this feeling...well written as usuall, I enjoyed it. ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
hey, i know i have already relpied, but i really loved this poem, and at the moment i can really relate, so i thought i would bump this back up to the top.... Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Hey kissa, Thanks so much for your replies. It really makes me feel good that you took the time to reply to this twice. Thanks again WinterWren- |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful.... the emotins you have expressed are soooo familar to me right now too... your writing is beauutiful.... hope to read more sooon Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
"When I think of the past I miss you again so keep ignoring me jolt me back to the present," beauuuutiful....that was wonderous. sad, compelling, awesome and full of emotions...great job!! <3 kirah "They say that truth will set you free, but then so will a lie. It all depends if you're trying to get to the promised land or just trying to get by." |
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Tequilia_Sunrise Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada |
awesome |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
One of the last times I was here - too long ago, to be sure! - I do remember saying something about how your work... aww forget it. I have no idea what I said. It's been that long. Anyway, this poem, as usual, from what I remember of yor work, struck right to the core of what's up in my life. Well enjoyed, though not so in the fact that there's another who's felt as I do. Especially liked the last two stanzas, being indifferent is the only way. Well, time to retire once again. Glad to see some familiar people still hang around. -Rich And Winamp is now playing: "Getting Away With Murder" Papa Roach Getting Away With Murder is knowing where I've been ~Rich~ |
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