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Teen Poetry #7
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Sweet Death
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Sweet Death |
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DarkPoetess New Member
since 2003-08-18
Posts 9PA, USA |
Darkness circles, Floats and settles, Enfolding, wraping, hiding, Corpse-like my hands welcome him, He brings such relief, such succor, The icy breath he whispers on my lilting head, Withering my soul, O Come, Shadow Creature! Remove from me this burden, My Esscence is wafting ever so far from me, My soul, a rose, wilting, As I writhe on Death's doorstep, Not a moment do I pause, Sweet, sweet Death! I welcome thee with open arms! *DarkPoetess* |
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| © Copyright 2004 Emily Briggs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
This had a very unique and great rhythm to it for the first few lines. My only issue was the "Shadow Creature" thing, which I thought took some of the poems power away. It makes me think too much of some cheap scary thriller, but there might be a deeper meaning to you, and if so, keep it. Aside from that, I thought this was a good piece. I hope you aren't so serious about welcoming death, as you have too much talent to waste on such an easy escape. Keep writing. |
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