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Teen Poetry #7
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Lust Vs. Love
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Lust Vs. Love |
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Sweetpoet16m4u04 Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153Ma, U.S.A |
Lust is something you want to touch... Love is something you need... Lust is easy to ignore... And love shows you what your heart is for... Lust is when you can’t sleep at night... Love is when you'd die just to hold them tight... Lust is there for just a day... The feeling of love could never go away... Lust is dreaming of her face... Love is the sound of your heart race... Lust is looking in her eyes... Love is something that never dies... Lust is something you've felt before... Love is something you want even more... Lust was there and now it’s gone... Love is still there growing strong... Lust is willing to show you care... Love is stating you'll always be there... Lust is keeping your dreams inside... Love knows you’ve got nothing to hide... Lust is a shipment of gold rings... Love is a commitment of all these things... So if its love don’t give up what's true...? I might be falling in love with you... |
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drummerboy678 Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134 |
This ones interesting... I like the flow (rhymed, but not too forced), and I like the message. But reading each line, it doesn't make much sense to me. I think its very true, "love" and "lust" are two very different things, but be careful with you descriptions of them: Lust is when you can’t sleep at night... Lust is dreaming of her face... Lust is looking in her eyes... Lust is willing to show you care... These 4 descriptions of lust seem to apply to love too... I really like these lines: Lust is keeping your dreams inside... Love knows you’ve got nothing to hide... I thought the ending was kind of weak, but I still liked the poem overall, so it didn't ruin it. Anyways, nice job. |
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Sweetpoet16m4u04 Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153Ma, U.S.A |
Wow a nice comment from you this time!! I must have really done a decent job on this one. Thanks for that comment and all ur previous ones as well. They really help me when im writing new poems. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
i love all your poems because they come from your heart and they are true feelings, even if some of the rhyming is forced its from your heart and that is all that matters...... i love how you write and the way you write.... this is an eye opener for me because ive never really had anything to judge how i feel about someone by before..... thankyou soo much for this... Keep up the writing Mel so this is me but what do you care about that???? |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Great job on this! I think you compared the 2 feelings very well. I liked it alot. Thanks for sharing. W.W. |
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sweet_cute_palestinian04 Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418Earth |
wow,,,,greattttttttttttttttttttttt,,,its the most intersting poem i ever read from you,, Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
niiicce, I really liked this one, it's so true at many parts! I never thought to write a poem like this comparing two things but you did an awesome job. Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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moonguardian2004 Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64MA, USA |
Hey hun- Those are two great things to compare. I would have never thought of them that differently, but your mind puts things into beautiful words. I can tell that you have a firm grasp on love. Great job expressing that. ~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the ending was nice, but some of the comparisons I did not agree with. However, I still see where you're going with this and it's a good idea! Keep posting! I left my wallet in El Segundo... |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I really don't know what to say to this poem. I liked the idea of the poem, comparing lust to love. But, like other people said, some of the comparisions didn't make sense. But other ones were very true...overall nice job, keep it up!  ~Alli~ I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Wow... Long time, no read. ~lol~ ( I really have a nack for korny one liners today) Since i've been here last, you have gotten to be an amazing writer... I really loved ur descriptions of love and lust. My fav was the same as drummer boys Lust is keeping ur dreams inside Love knows you've got nothing to hide. Very true. Absolutely loved it. Kissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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