Letters to God - pipTalk Forums

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sparrow139
Junior Member

since 2004-05-13

Posts 18
UK

0 posted 2004-05-16 05:43 PM

I have recently got a new notebook which I am using to write down all my poems and writings in. This is the first poem in there, and it is meant to explain what my writings are for.
This is the first poem I've posted. I'm not completely happy with it, but I'd love some feedback on it.

Letters to God

"It's good to talk", as the saying goes
And so I'll talk, or write... Compose
Whilst those around me close their ears
I know God's listening to my fears

Bottle it, control it, hold it fast
But pressure's too great for my will to last
And so pen to paper, soul to scrawl
I'm handing it over, revealing all

Wait by the postbox, they're coming your way
Paper which carries my core on display
A journal, a message, a heart-to-heart log
I'm mailing to Heaven my letters to God.
[sparrow]

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2004-05-16 06:59 PM

Welcome to pip!

Very good first post. I especially like the second stanza.
Great job, thanks for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

2 posted 2004-05-17 01:04 AM

Wow... I love this. It was amazing. Welcome to PIP...

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

aussie teen
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 396
Australia

3 posted 2004-05-17 06:59 AM

this is beautiful....
you r writing is amazing and using this one for your first poem is brilliant...
what you expressed is amost exactly what i go through at school all the time.....
keep writing.... im always around for a chat if you ever want some advice feel free to email me and i will see what i can do....
Mel

so this is me but what do you care about that????
i am who i am. no one can change that but me, even then it will be a fight to the death

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-05-17 04:58 PM

I loved this poem...welcome to piptalk!!!!!

~Alli~

Defective
Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 73
Salisbury NC

5 posted 2004-05-19 02:17 AM

I love the title

sparrow139
Junior Member

since 2004-05-13

Posts 18
UK

6 posted 2004-05-19 05:57 AM

Wow, thank you everyone for the replies! It's really encouraging to hear some positive feedback on my poems. Perhaps I'll post a couple more if I can summon up the courage

Thanks guys! Glad you liked it!

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