Wine Stained Confessions - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-04-23 07:16 PM

Wine Stained Confessions

She holds her head
As if the moments that she studies
Will fade away with the bird's song.
She lays in bed
Speaking to the pictures frozen in time,
Hoping that their tears will join along.

She remembers the stains
That the pure carpet had endured;
The wine spilled when her breath stopped.
He whisper as the laid,
"I'll give you all of my life tonight."
That was when her crimson glass had dropped.

Now her heart is falling
And hands tremble as she wipes her face;
This night won't allow her to sleep at all.
Her reply to his calling,
"My heart belongs to so many others before you."
She let his heart drop quickly into the pall.

You still hear him whisper...

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

1 posted 2004-04-23 10:28 PM

this is library material all the way.....amazing...

riley

it seems like one of those poems that haunts you...

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2004-04-23 10:58 PM

this is haunting, truely draws you in and won't let you leave. I'm inspired after reading this...
The first stanza was awesome, I could really see her lying there.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-04-24 10:02 AM

thank you both. when i wrote this, i didnt think that it would turn out good. i wanted to throw in something unexpected, like her response. it's kinda like the music video for "leaving" by the starting line if anyone has seen it.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

4 posted 2004-04-24 10:54 AM

I honestly believe this to be one my favorites from you. It was raw, and honest, and reminded me a lot of the real world, instead of the sugary images you sometimes get from poetry. It sounds interesting from the beginning, there is a sense of anticipation, "what is she going to do/say?", which is cool. Magnifique.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2004-04-24 02:39 PM

All I can say is wow! Very amazing write.

~Alli~

Censored
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 86

6 posted 2004-04-24 11:42 PM

Your work is truely amazing.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

7 posted 2004-04-25 05:24 AM

eh i dunno, i read it twice and there is awesome imagery and flow...but i still have no idea what the hell you're talking about. sorry :-S. nice images though.

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

8 posted 2004-04-25 11:57 AM

berdundy, It's about this young lady who is in tears because she's given her heart away to so many people before her true love came. Now there's nothing left of her to give to him. The end just states that it still haunts her, maybe forever.

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

9 posted 2004-04-25 09:53 PM

Wow! This is great! I'm totally putting it in my library.

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

10 posted 2004-04-26 02:31 PM

Good poem. It kept my full attention the whole way through. This one is goin' in my library! ~Jess

"Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance." -Unknown

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

11 posted 2004-04-26 03:30 PM

thank you all. if you guys could read my other one, the one titled Sparring Among Youthful Eyes, that would be great

TigerZ
Member

since 2002-01-02

Posts 83
Ontario, Canada

12 posted 2004-04-27 06:21 AM

This was incredible. One of the few poems that come along every once in a while that haunts me throughout the day and even after that. I don't know what to say. It was just great, stunning, magnificent, gorgeous -pick your choice of adjectives. Excellent job!

A life without love…is no life at all.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

13 posted 2004-04-27 12:43 PM

thank you tiger z. if you guys have never read any of my other stuff, please do so.

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

14 posted 2004-04-27 07:56 PM

i loved it its gr88 its going in my gr888 filessssssss

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.