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Teen Poetry #7
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tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2005-09-28 12:29 PM



Once loved
Once broken
Once torn
Once taken
Once trusted
Once exposed
Once opened
Never Closed

LOVE NEEDS TO DIE

© Copyright 2005 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved
littlemiss
Junior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 16

1 posted 2006-03-02 04:33 PM


i like this poem its really like clean cut and to th point it just has something about it as you read it.
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
2 posted 2006-03-02 07:39 PM


I liked the way you wrote this. You suprised me with the ending.. the way it was going I thought it was going to say "now closed" on the very last line. but that's just me being a pestimist. I enjoyed your write.



~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
3 posted 2006-03-04 11:53 PM


i like it. once
once
once
once
...
...
...
never


thats cool. nice write

           Jessica    
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

4 posted 2006-03-05 09:44 PM


Hey Laura darling, I absolutely loved this. So simple, but awesomely strong. Thanks for sharing

<3kerR

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

byski
Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235
Alberta, Canada
5 posted 2006-03-06 02:29 PM


It makes me smile right away. Sure I'm a little crazy but it does such a good job of giving a strong emotional rise. Everyone who has loved has lost and they all can enjoy this. I like your quote as well, it fits.
tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
6 posted 2006-03-06 10:08 PM


thanks guys

how did you break my heart when it wasn't whole to start?

aol sn- tearsoflove13762

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
7 posted 2006-03-07 01:04 AM


It's interesting.

I like how you do the "Once..." instead of  saying once and stringing the rest out in one big list.

But, i'm not sure i understand the ending...
Can you enlighten me?

@-->---

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