Teen Poetry #7 |
: A Heart : |
tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
Once loved Once broken Once torn Once taken Once trusted Once exposed Once opened Never Closed LOVE NEEDS TO DIE |
||
© Copyright 2005 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved | |||
littlemiss Junior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 16 |
i like this poem its really like clean cut and to th point it just has something about it as you read it. |
||
the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked the way you wrote this. You suprised me with the ending.. the way it was going I thought it was going to say "now closed" on the very last line. but that's just me being a pestimist. I enjoyed your write. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
||
latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
i like it. once once once once ... ... ... never thats cool. nice write Jessica |
||
CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248 |
Hey Laura darling, I absolutely loved this. So simple, but awesomely strong. Thanks for sharing <3kerR When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. |
||
byski Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235Alberta, Canada |
It makes me smile right away. Sure I'm a little crazy but it does such a good job of giving a strong emotional rise. Everyone who has loved has lost and they all can enjoy this. I like your quote as well, it fits. |
||
tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
thanks guys how did you break my heart when it wasn't whole to start? |
||
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
It's interesting. I like how you do the "Once..." instead of saying once and stringing the rest out in one big list. But, i'm not sure i understand the ending... Can you enlighten me? @-->--- |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |