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moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

0 posted 2004-04-22 08:16 PM

I knew I was in love
You had overtook my heart
I realized there was deeper love
When we were apart

We spent that last day
With stars in our eyes
Little smerks would appear
And only we knew why

I couldn't get enough of your touch
You couldn't get enough of mine
The minutes ticked on
We were running out of time

The good bye hurt
In so many ways
I gave you one more kiss
And then reluctantly drove away

In my dreams you stayed
Bringing forth my smiles
I began to realize
That you are here all the while

You are all around me
Your pictures
Your cards
And your sweet notes

I slept with you by my bed
As I do every night
I thought about your touch
And how safe I felt when you hold me tight

All this I already feel
But distance made my heart grow
I didn't know it could get this big
With love it overflowed

I wouldn't go to the end of the Earth
I would go further and more
If there was a far off galaxy
I would be knocking at its door.

~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

1 posted 2004-04-22 09:23 PM

I liked this, but to me at times the rhyming seemed forced.
-ash

http://www.enternexus.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <----Thats all me

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

2 posted 2004-04-23 08:53 PM

Hey hun,
Like always you amaze me with your imagery that you place in your writes. I have to agree though in some parts its a lil shaky with the forced rhyming. But none the less its amazing what wonders distance can do to a relationship because it gives off just that break you need to realize he or she is the one you want to be with. Keep up the writing its glad to see you this happy again.

Lots of Love,
Chris

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

3 posted 2004-04-23 08:56 PM

wow..thats nice once again gr88 poem keep it upp..lovesssssssssssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2004-04-23 10:31 PM

it was good...rhyming forced a little as said above...but overall good.

....

moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

5 posted 2004-04-24 01:54 PM

Thanks for the replys. I do agree with the forced ryming. I am defenitely going to work on that in my future writes. Great to hear what you think!

~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

6 posted 2004-04-24 02:35 PM

Amazing....really sounded like it came from your heart.

~Alli~

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