Teen Poetry #7 |
Deceiving Conviction |
Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
Sitting on a grassy hill Two lovers, hand in hand Time seemed to stand still As they gazed over this land Birds flew overhead And sung their sweet love song Sweet nothings are all they said As they sat there all day long The setting sun A perfect end to this day But the walk home was no fun When she decided to say I can’t stand your addiction I can’t stand it when you lie I say this with a deceiving conviction I have to say goodbye when you live you begin to die |
||
© Copyright 2004 Matt - All Rights Reserved | |||
Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
I really..really..really liked this. At first I though it was just another sappy love poem but at the end it takes a twirl and changes to a almost sad farewell poem..ok im rambling I know that just wanted to say enjoyed! -ash http://www.enternexus.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <----Thats all me |
||
UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
This was really good, I also thought it was going to just be one of 'those' love poems...but then at the end it took a wicked twist, I had something liek this happen to me when i was going through an addiction...so this hit close to home but it was the best thing for me...awesome write! *~*nessa bear*~* You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
||
*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I liked it. I know about that whole "deceiving conviction" thing. I had to do that with my last love because we needed a break but I knew he wouldn't let me go unless I sounded strong so I had to pretend I didn't love him and say goodbye. This one hit close to home. Nicely done! ~Live and Laugh~ The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised. |
||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I agree with everyone else. Great job! I loved it! ~Alli~ |
||
dodge_chick2003 Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136California |
I really like this poem, It shows how I feel about my ex he was addicted to weed and I didnt know how to tell him that I couldnt handle his addiction but this is perfect. |
||
kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
wow,... addiction to things... very hard to deal with. I am proud you were brave enough to let go... it is very hard to do in a situation like this... Amazing write. I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
||
Censored Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 86 |
Suprise ending, very cool. --I also wanted to add, that I love how the mood/tone of the poem changes so quickly! |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |