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Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2004-04-17 06:03 PM

Sitting on a grassy hill
Two lovers, hand in hand
Time seemed to stand still
As they gazed over this land

Birds flew overhead
And sung their sweet love song
Sweet nothings are all they said
As they sat there all day long

The setting sun
A perfect end to this day
But the walk home was no fun
When she decided to say

I can’t stand your addiction
I can’t stand it when you lie
I say this with a deceiving conviction
I have to say goodbye

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

1 posted 2004-04-22 09:28 PM

I really..really..really liked this. At first I though it was just another sappy love poem but at the end it takes a twirl and changes to a almost sad farewell poem..ok im rambling I know that just wanted to say enjoyed!

-ash

http://www.enternexus.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <----Thats all me

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

2 posted 2004-04-23 09:29 AM

This was really good, I also thought it was going to just be one of 'those' love poems...but then at the end it took a wicked twist, I had something liek this happen to me when i was going through an addiction...so this hit close to home but it was the best thing for me...awesome write!

*~*nessa bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2004-04-23 11:27 AM

I liked it. I know about that whole "deceiving conviction" thing. I had to do that with my last love because we needed a break but I knew he wouldn't let me go unless I sounded strong so I had to pretend I didn't love him and say goodbye. This one hit close to home. Nicely done!
~Live and Laugh~

The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised.
~Bella~

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-04-23 06:15 PM

I agree with everyone else. Great job! I loved it!

~Alli~

dodge_chick2003
Member

since 2004-01-18

Posts 136
California

5 posted 2004-04-24 06:17 PM

I really like this poem, It shows how I feel about my ex he was addicted to weed and I didnt know how to tell him that I couldnt handle his addiction but this is perfect.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

6 posted 2004-04-28 04:23 PM

wow,... addiction to things... very hard to deal with. I am proud you were brave enough to let go... it is very hard to do in a situation like this... Amazing write.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Censored
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 86

7 posted 2004-04-28 10:02 PM

Suprise ending, very cool.
--I also wanted to add, that I love how the mood/tone of the poem changes so quickly!

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