Dark Poetry #4 |
Before the Shame |
PKreturns Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362New Orleans, LA |
Empty inside So cold inside This guilt, this pleasure I’ve been meaning to hide Can’t see What’s in front of me The grinding ice Passes so slowly Hallowed ground Unearthly sound After all the rotations, Still spinning ‘round Yesterday’s news Been abused After all the laughter, Still not amused That flame Still burns the same A moment of indifference Before the shame |
||
© Copyright 2004 PKreturns - All Rights Reserved | |||
yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
That seemed like a lot of pain. The fact that it was short and to the point further elaborates the shortness of life and the simpleness of its torture. Been abused After all the laughter, Still not amused That flame Still burns the same A moment of indifference Before the shame I think these lines say it all. Loved this read. Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
||
spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
wow thats alot of emotion and i've felt all of it. still do. e-mail me if you want someone to talk too. [email protected]. theres so much more i could say but i dont want to bother anyone. you are now in my library though. "I am the bringer of darkness. A shadow in the dark. I prey on the. The child of the lost souls. I hunger for the love of one unknown. The one to reve |
||
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
After all the laughter, Still not amused you write very well. |
||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
I like this poetry because of its rhythmic tone. I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
||
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Nice words, nice rhythm, loved the same bit as Lexy. Hollow. |
||
eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
i like this one, i think if you extended the metaphores in this poem it would have much more impact... Pimpin and panderin, on a level you can't serve, dismantle, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, and verbs |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |