I hope it DOESNT fade - pipTalk Forums

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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-12-29 01:27 AM

I can’t explain it all
Malfunction of a beautiful mind
No, you don’t cross that everyday on a desert road
Just shiny pinprick voices
Probing.

Do you gain anything apart from my insolence?
With the “I’m helping you” grace of which you transact
I’m afraid of what you will find
When the lights turn on, will you grasp it then?
You don’t,
You buy the lie, make a stupid comment,
“I hope it fades.”

My stalks are broken, the flower
Ripped off by immature insecurities,
Wilts as one by one, a petal is torn.

See my metaphorical stance?
Pen poised,
Waiting for a way to twist
My sick pathetic thoughts into a way where the true,
Scream for help is subdued.

I can cry, press my ear against the door
Swear
If it makes the apparently non-existent anger fly away.
I don’t seek your non-existent sympathy anymore
I just don’t care.

Watch as I blur…
I’m barely there, an inky form of humanity.

I don’t want to tell you anything anymore
Pen, paper, speech, I don’t want to tell you anything
I just don’t care.

You just got to see me through another day
My body's achin' and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

1 posted 2004-12-29 08:47 PM

*stunned don't know what to say face*
oh gawd, this was pretty amazing. you are an amazinf writer. this one was so..... real so true so ARGH YOU MAKE ME EVEN MORE JEALOUS AND FRUSTRATED AT MYSELF FOR NO LONGER BEING ABLE TO PUT PEN TO PAPER! argh. butiful stuff. keep it coming, and never let them stop. too good of a thing to end

laura

you're the only one keeping me alive

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

2 posted 2004-12-30 06:37 PM

(edited-profanity-Ladycat)
courtsss......
that poem was so brilliant. I think it's my favourite one by you, omg $*(^$&*(_@^$^%$#_*&$^@*&) it just inspires me, to someday be half the writer you are.

lots of love,
Kurst

Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it.

[This message has been edited by Ladycat (01-01-2005 08:42 PM).]

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2004-12-31 12:08 PM

This is a very conversational piece. I mean, it's written as if it were dialogue. I enjoyed it and it touched close to heart, reminding me of the times I've tried to look into my own mind trying to find hidden pains and other sources of the negetive things I might do.....

Any idiot can see that the result is true.
-- argumentum ad idiotum
Me!

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

4 posted 2004-12-31 11:22 AM

i never knew you had the gift of fortune telling! i believe these words to be in my future as well, but for me being on the receiving end of them, and you have helped me see how much they will hurt the second time.
this was fantastic writing at its most fantastic. loved lots!

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

5 posted 2005-01-07 09:17 PM

Very good reality piece!

Enjoyed reading.

CB 8)

"If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it."
Albert Einstein

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

6 posted 2005-01-08 01:28 AM

"My stalks are broken, the flower
Ripped off by immature insecurities,
Wilts as one by one, a petal is torn."

I feel more than you know...

Thank you, Hollow, for allowing us to be the privileged ones that watch your poetry grow in depth, intensity and magnificence. I really appreciated you sharing this one with me.

Carri

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

7 posted 2005-01-08 01:47 AM

I feel like this sometimes. Its like when you give expecting to receive and don't. You basically just got to wait. I'm somewhat distracted right now so I don't think I'm giving a clear response, nor do I think I took it in clearly. It was nice though.

-GIS

Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

8 posted 2005-01-13 12:07 PM

ahhh just dont know what to say, so glad i hunted around to find this one... eeek it freaks me out all the poetry I've missed while I was away.

awesome, so beautiful and painful.

so glad to be back amongst you guys

love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

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