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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-07-19 02:18 AM

My eyes are pressed tightly together,
The lids are blue, not from make-up,
But from my own disguise,
I’m ever so slightly confused,
But mostly just thinking,
Not trying too hard,
Just picking thoughts off a conveyer belt,
Red-rimmed eyes,

Walking forward on the ashen ground,
Hands clutching my armpits to keep warm,
Even though beads of sweat drip from my forehead,
And I’m questioning everything I’ve heard,
Once I’m there I feel alive,
But when I say good-bye,
I feel a great sense of loss,
Mourning for yesterday,
Grinding teeth,

And my head pulses,
With each and every step I take,
Because I wondering if it will be my last,
And if it is,
I can only think,
That I have been pondering homework,
For my last few hours,
And I know then that my life has been a waste of time,
Holidays in the sun,
Plastic gifts and checking my wristwatch,
Waiting for the end of time,
Blood red lips,

I’m mourning for yesterday.

Tomorrow might never come.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

1 posted 2004-07-19 04:40 AM

Liked it.

didnt see what the purpose of the poem was however.

i liked the intial idea but the tomorrow never coming didn't really seem relevant to the paragraphs.

just my opinion!

LOR

"It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

2 posted 2004-07-20 01:52 AM

yea i dunno
it sorta seemed like random thorts not linking to one idea.
had good imagery (LOL)
i liked reading it, but was kinda confused to wat the purpose of it was.

agree with lor i geuss

catch ya

loveandempathy always

darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

3 posted 2004-07-20 02:32 AM

Yeah it was mostly thoughts but a few lines were the main subject, even if you didn't really see them.

"And I’m questioning everything I’ve heard"

and

"With each and every step I take,
I'm wondering if it will be my last,
And if it is,
I can only think,
That I have been pondering homework,
For my last few hours,
And I know then that my life has been a waste of time"

It's sort of...live every day like it was your last type thing. Well that's what it kind of was, to me. Anyhoo, glad you read it.

Courtney.
Hollow.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

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