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Dark Poetry #4
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Heal Me
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Heal Me |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
Mix your salty tears with my dark red blood and stitch back together the pieces of my broken heart. only you can heal me. Mix your gentle breath with my heavy tears and fade my sorrow with soft reassuring kisses. only you can heal me. My wounds are open, only you can close them. The opportunity's arised, I present myself before you, as opened as my wounds, forget pride, my vunerability showing unashamedly and honest. look me in the eyes. You have the power to heal me. Why won't you heal me? Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved | |||
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
That was pretty cool. The ending is like someone is looking through glass at someone else asking for help only their mouth is shut by like a gag made of cloth of tape of some kind of muzzle. It leaves you in a void of desperation. Cool. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Don't know how to reply, see? I can't find my words. I've barely spoken all day, I've had nothing to say. I just don't know, not one of your best, but I still liked the poem and concept. But I know how you feel, sort of, it's frustrating. Hollow. Courtney. You just got to see me through another day |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
well i liked it alot. awesome stuff. loved it... but i love most of yours so yeah brillant, and you can get through this! laura you're the only one keeping me alive |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is exactly wat i have gone thru over the last 3 months.... only thing is you will find someone else who can do the healing for you..... amazing poem girl...email me if you ever need to talk... always here for you Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I thought that perhaps you did not give enough detail about why the one addressed does not do as the speaker asks. I found myself thinking that the addressee was cold and perhaps unable to commit emotionally to satisfying the requests of the speaker, but there is no evidence in this poem to back my suspicion to that effect.... Any idiot can see that the result is true. |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
sometimes, i believe, it works to the advantage of the poem for it to be truthful enough to paing the soul, but ambiguous enough to be relatable from many person's own experiences. maybe for this poem to take flight in a reader's mind, the reader must be in the mindset of what the poem is saying to him or her at this sepcific moment in time. for me, it hit hard, and thus was very successful. nice job, vamp! of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
Fractal007: The reason I did not give detail on that, was because she did not know why he would not heal her. She was practically begging for him to heal her, but still he did not, and she did not know why. And because I wrote this poem in first person, I can't write things that the person speaking does not know. Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it. |
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