Dark Poetry #4 |
Unseen |
peaceful_dreamer Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW |
I am invisisble to the unseen world, I am locked away from sanity. I am dreams thrown away, I am the eyes of your enemy. I have a heart beat, yet I am destined to die unwillingly. I have a mind with tangled thoughts, I am drifting soundlessly. I consider the life being thrown at me, I am falling down its stairs. I have a disablitly - it's trust, I am yesterday's forgotten nightmare. I see the unwanted, the untold past, I try to approach it carefully. I am locked away - I can't get in, I am invisible to the unknown reality. I am yesterday's tomorrow drifting soundlessly to a world my mind has created. "I'm just me, trapped in a body." |
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© Copyright 2004 Jennifer Pederson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
the last line was great. I think you should try to mold it differently, so that every line doesn't start with I. It gets tedious to read. |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
interesting piece. Need a bit more depth. |
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