Dark Poetry #4 |
DepthsofInsanity |
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
From the depths of my mind, I hear the devils chime, He calls me nearer, Just when I felt fearer, I echo within my soul, Looking to fill this whole, As the dove flies above, Without wings, but how? Haunted by these passions, And senses without lessons, For the inner mind convulses, (quivers) Laying here in waste it refuses, (from beneath this waste it peers) Nautical miles I have traveled, In search of a deeper rival, For the beginning was unscathed, Forever continuing emotions rape, The devil knows all this too sound, Gluttony offers my mind is bound, The sense of end surrounds my self, I became rich and lost my inner wealth. |
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© Copyright 2004 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
peaceful_dreamer Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW |
This has good content - but the rhyme isn't consistent. "I'm just me, trapped in a body." |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I agree. The rhyming sound very forced but the thoughts you expressed in the poem were very good. Remember that poems don't always need to rhyme. ~Alli~ |
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