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LucidityNow
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 118
Canada

0 posted 2004-05-10 08:31 AM

Predestined to Damnation

Enter
past rotting teeth
decaying marrow
suffocating afflictive nerves

Down
through vocal chords
echoing still
of peircing vile screams

Enter
into discolored lungs
filling to half capacity
with noxious blackened hate

Down
into an idle heart
choked in poisoned blood
lying in obstinacy

Enter
into the lucid astral self
a vast compendium of knowledge
with infinite contingencies

yet viewed as a nonenity
predestined to damnation by reality

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2004-05-10 09:13 AM

To languish in our own bile was never the plan dear poet. You write this with power and although the theme is quite clear...the seed of hope remains within.
Enjoy your style.
TD

MERCURY
Member

since 2003-04-16

Posts 190
Ireland

2 posted 2004-05-10 09:15 AM

Vivid read

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

3 posted 2004-05-10 09:15 AM

Out
Belching barbarous gases
Curling nose hairs as it passes
Causing glances of distain

was this an add a verse?
sort of like myself before the first cup of coffee

I don’t believe in the idea of Predestined to Damnation
but it doesn’t stop me from enjoying the poem

Gloom

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

4 posted 2004-05-10 07:18 PM

interesting progression....

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2004-05-10 07:22 PM

Powerful words!

LucidityNow
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 118
Canada

6 posted 2004-05-10 09:34 PM

Thanks for the replies. I feel I should explain the poem. "Predestined to damnation - isn't really talking about fate or anything, in this case it just means that the astral self (and it's wonderous possibilities) is never realized by so many who can't see through the ugliness of what they call the "real world" (viewed as a nonenity). Hence the progression down through the material being, pushing through the ugliness, and finding the astral self.

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

Defective
Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 73
Salisbury NC

7 posted 2004-05-11 12:08 PM

Speechless.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

8 posted 2004-05-13 04:22 PM

powerful, vivid, and beautiful all at the same time. I loved this poem. It is very different and the way you used the words, and just everything was amazing...
kissa

*i am saving if you dont mind.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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