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Asian Rain
Member

since 2003-10-11

Posts 73

0 posted 2003-10-11 11:02 PM

She is the bleak solace that makes the world softer
the gleaming iris at the dark end of night
the wild rush of wings in furious cages
that feeds on stones and circles of dust

She wears torn stockings, black mantillas
veils pearled wounds behind kohled eyes
grooms the dark fur on the thick flesh
of the worlds underbelly

Stroking so gently fragmented skin
she brushes her texture on invisible lives
mistress with the earth brown eyes
tenderly feeds you pieces of her sun

She is the light on your river of dreams
bearing fire and the weight of your dying
a flowering almond for your winter season
when her liquid eyes open
and your sorrowful loneliness is finally seen
through anothers eyes

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

1 posted 2003-10-12 02:26 AM

welcome...intresting style you have...

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

junemac
Senior Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 1005
uk

2 posted 2003-10-12 03:51 AM

i enjoyed this one very much.

very descriptive and great imagery give your poetry a wonderful energy.

hugs from june x

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2003-10-12 12:55 PM

Asian:

God I adore these lines:

mistress with the earth brown eyes
tenderly feeds you pieces of her sun

actually sounds like an angel to me
Welcome to PIP
what a beautiful entrance
a very nice write
Check your email for a special greeting from all of us here at Passions!
xxoo

Asian Rain
Member

since 2003-10-11

Posts 73

4 posted 2003-10-13 11:24 AM

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and the very kind comments.

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

5 posted 2003-10-13 06:54 PM

wow, this is really really good! i love it! welcome to pip!

- River

A river of change is rushing over me, through me. Forfeit to the waters, forget the past, live in the present.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

6 posted 2003-10-13 11:26 PM

good onnnnnnneeeeeeee.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2003-10-25 12:04 PM

Dang, am I ever glad I did not miss this one!
Welcome to Passions!
I look forward to reading more from your quill.

I loved the imagery and word flow, the thoughts that they triggered.

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

8 posted 2003-10-25 07:27 PM

This is truly the kind of poetry I love to read. You have a rare gift of expression.

I absolutely loved it.
coyote 8)

"Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead,

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

9 posted 2003-10-26 08:38 AM

You Have Talent.......Keep Writing You're Really Good

Starsfalling
Member

since 2003-03-18

Posts 94
some where deep in the shadows

10 posted 2003-10-26 09:06 PM

i liked the descriptiveness...and i love kohled eyes...i agree with littlewing it does sound like an angel...great write

There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods

qtpieelmo
Senior Member

since 2000-07-04

Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

11 posted 2003-10-27 06:21 PM

Great piece here!!

ELMO

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!"

Rdz9
Member

since 2003-03-16

Posts 142
MT, USA

12 posted 2003-11-01 04:10 AM

Amazing writing... Much enjoyed.

One in a sea of millions has the power to change the world...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

13 posted 2003-11-01 05:04 PM

She is the light on your river of dreams
bearing fire and the weight of your dying
a flowering almond for your winter season
when her liquid eyes open
and your sorrowful loneliness is finally seen
through anothers eyes

~*~

What a lovely composition of words...Welcome to Passions. I have a feeling you're going to fit right in!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

14 posted 2003-11-01 05:35 PM

the wild rush of wings in furious cages
that feeds on stones and circles of dust

Hey, I love this.

Welcome to Passions.

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

15 posted 2003-11-08 01:22 PM

makes me feel not-so-bad

redrobin21865
Junior Member

since 2003-11-09

Posts 12
Florida, USA

16 posted 2003-11-10 10:09 AM

great work, really enjoyed it

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

17 posted 2008-01-22 05:40 PM

fine writing...James

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

18 posted 2008-02-18 11:45 AM

superb metaphoric expression...found your poem to be magnetic...will have to study it in more detail and depth.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

19 posted 2008-02-18 07:56 PM

this is very interesting type of poem. how you discribed (what i think) is an angel? its very interesting and beautiful. i love this one!

~Zach~

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

20 posted 2008-02-20 08:54 PM

"veils pearled wounds behind kohled eyes"

I truly love that line. I love this entire piece. Your style is fabulous! I can't wait to read more by you, doll.

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