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Dark Poetry #4

My Demon

RaBBiT_K
New Member

since 2004-03-28

Posts 7

0 posted 2004-04-04 09:23 PM

Ever have the devil-

On your back,

Reminding you-

Of everything you lack,

I have one-

Just like that,

Every now and then-

We have a little chat,

He brings up the past,

I just say-

those things are passed,

He won't go,

I don't know,

He's my worst foe,

Please just let me go,

I won't bow,

It's him or me,

I won't lose now...

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-04-04 11:20 PM

rhyming sounds a little forced, but other wise, i loved this one a lot, i really like the concept.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-04-06 12:45 PM

Yeah, the rhyming sounds a tad forced, but not majorly by any means. I quite like the idea's though.

Hollow.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

toxic_outroar
New Member

since 2004-03-22

Posts 6

3 posted 2004-04-06 12:47 PM

Very good poem, poems dont have to rhyme. Love the meaning

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