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Dark Poetry #4
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silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-02-21 05:47 PM


Don't let me fall
into a hole
of missing regret
and knowing betrayal

Don't let me fall
beneath the lights
that shadow hope
and grip fate

Don't let me fall
behind your back
where i can't see
or can't keep up

Don't let me fall
into your eyes
to lay myself down
in their fathomless green

Don't let me fall
into your arms
where i can lose
all i have won

Don't let me fall
below the surface
of my reality
and your lies

And don't let me fall

In love with you again.

"They'll love you just the way you are, if your perfect" - Alanis Morisette

© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
1 posted 2004-02-21 06:01 PM


oh yeah, i feel this well especially the ending line "and don't let me fall in love with you again"...nice! groovy job =).

      - River

sleep my precious slumber

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-02-21 06:10 PM


yes the repitive 'don't let me fall'

was building up to 'in love with u agen'

to build the effect

but thanx heeps!!!

LOR

In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-02-21 07:04 PM


"Don't let me fall
below the surface
of my reality
and your lies"

I like this. I can relate to it very easily. I am actually in the middle of writting a poem like this.
I love the ending.

~Vampire kisses  

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
4 posted 2004-02-21 09:28 PM


thanx!!

oh u have to post it

tell me wen u do k

LOR

In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-02-23 03:18 AM


cool ending
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
6 posted 2004-02-23 10:49 PM


Niiiiice one Lor, the ending is so awesome, I love the 2nd third and 4th paragraphs! i love the word fathomless...

Hollow
(Aggy sticking her oar in)

However long the night, the dawn will break.

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
7 posted 2004-02-24 02:09 AM


hey LOr
loved it

very very cool and twisty and twiny and grrr just perfect AS USUAL!!!

grr im gettin very very very very very jealous of u n aggs and bexus.

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

lovergurl
Member
since 2007-05-08
Posts 59
va
8 posted 2007-05-26 02:59 PM


I loved it. wow.like everyone else, I loved the end. =]]]]] good job! keep them coming!

Becca.

Abbeon
Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder
9 posted 2007-05-28 09:37 PM


wow that was... Spectacular i loved it that was just a wow poem!!

Abbeon

BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
10 posted 2007-06-04 12:07 PM


Another wonderful poem! i really liked it. especially the ending, i wasn't ready for that...
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