Dark Poetry #4 |
Don't let me fall |
silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
Don't let me fall into a hole of missing regret and knowing betrayal Don't let me fall beneath the lights that shadow hope and grip fate Don't let me fall behind your back where i can't see or can't keep up Don't let me fall into your eyes to lay myself down in their fathomless green Don't let me fall into your arms where i can lose all i have won Don't let me fall below the surface of my reality and your lies And don't let me fall In love with you again. "They'll love you just the way you are, if your perfect" - Alanis Morisette |
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© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
oh yeah, i feel this well especially the ending line "and don't let me fall in love with you again"...nice! groovy job =). - River sleep my precious slumber |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
yes the repitive 'don't let me fall' was building up to 'in love with u agen' to build the effect but thanx heeps!!! LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
"Don't let me fall below the surface of my reality and your lies" I like this. I can relate to it very easily. I am actually in the middle of writting a poem like this. I love the ending. ~Vampire kisses I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
thanx!! oh u have to post it tell me wen u do k LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool ending |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Niiiiice one Lor, the ending is so awesome, I love the 2nd third and 4th paragraphs! i love the word fathomless... Hollow (Aggy sticking her oar in) However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
hey LOr loved it very very cool and twisty and twiny and grrr just perfect AS USUAL!!! grr im gettin very very very very very jealous of u n aggs and bexus. You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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lovergurl Member
since 2007-05-08
Posts 59va |
I loved it. wow.like everyone else, I loved the end. =]]]]] good job! keep them coming! Becca. |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
wow that was... Spectacular i loved it that was just a wow poem!! Abbeon |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
Another wonderful poem! i really liked it. especially the ending, i wasn't ready for that... |
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