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Dark Poetry #4
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Epitaph
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Epitaph |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Inscription on the stone of death, Is like an open door, I want to crawl through to underneath, It’s just me. A scream is a beckoning light, A sacrifice, I need to breathe through dust and pain, It’s just me. Twisted in a way of humanity, A chainsaw is my song, I have to live without the living, It’s just me. From the outside looking in, You’d leave, You’d close my eyes, It’s just me. Blurred around the edges, But that is who I am, Don’t bury me without this, It’s my epitaph. However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved | |||
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i liked the ending but it wasnt ur best or you i dnt reckon i didnt get mostr of the 'its just me' cept its my epitaph good job LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Lol i know what you mean. Its not such a good one, but im stuck for inspiration at the moment..... However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Nice. Definetely not your best, but not your worst either.  I liked this. Kant wait till ur next post!!!~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
yea i agree with wats been sed. its a great concept but i didnt understand the repitition. i quite liked the second verse thing. quite coooool! keep rockin darknesss You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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gpc Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43 |
hmm, the epitaph is a good image although i didn't feel this poem was true to its name as epitaphs are usually short and concise and this was long and rambling. Maybe it would work if you changed the title but to me, the poem seems to be a betrayl of the title. |
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